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I need to get this off my chest... Today I forgot to send my son to school in his tracksuit bottoms. Don't worry, he is wearing trousers, just the wrong ones. This leisurewear fiasco has led me to thinking about all the things that make me feel like a crap mum. Here are my top 5...


1. Not spending enough time helping the kids with their homework
I hereby award top marks to any parent who manages to do any homework at the weekend. Personally, we always seem to be at a birthday party, helping stressed-out parents ram squashed bits of jam sandwiches and paper plates into bin bags.

In our house homework is shoved between swimming, Beavers, ballet and day-to-day missions (e.g. emergency stops at Tesco because we’ve run out of loo roll). Lack of time leads to an inability to fully commit to the task in hand and I often find myself half buttocked on a seat, one foot lunging towards the kitchen where an audible crackling announces the Bolognese has cemented itself onto the pan. Meanwhile, unaware of the carcinogenic delight they are about to be served up, DS or DD merrily sound out ‘a – a-a ants on my arms’ .

The Joys Of Homework

Photo with thanks to: Cayusa @

2. Providing a crap packed-lunch
There are days when I’ll happily chop up cucumber sticks, tomatoes and peppers and put them in the packed-lunch box next to the roll (brown of course) and the organic rice pudding and tangerine. So chuffed with myself that not only has my child had a healthy lunch but that the school dinner supervisors are sure to discuss what a great mum I am, and why can’t more mums be like me?

Then there are other days when I just simply don’t have the time, energy or supplies in the fridge to provide anything nearly as good. These days are what I call Cheese Dipper days. Don’t tell Jamie Oliver!

3. Being late for the school-pick up

Oh, the shame. Our school is on a hill so running late is made even worse by the fact that when you arrive at school you’re not only really stressed but also very sweaty, red in the face and unable to speak.

Isn’t it an awful feeling when through the window you see your child, the only one left in the classroom, sitting there in their coat surveying all the empty seats around them? To make it worse the teacher gives you a look like you should be put on detention.

4. Not attending the school show

As a former Mary in the Christmas nativity I know how important it is to have a familiar face or two in the crowd. Missing the kids’ Christmas, Easter or half term show feels like treason of the highest kind.

The only way non-attending parents can gain any inner peace is to employ an attending parent to provide a ‘ghost arm’ where they over-enthusiastically wave, high five and thumbs up your child to make up for your absence.

Year R Nativity - A Shepherd

Photo with thanks to:

5. Forgetting PE kit/Mufti-day money

Can you believe it? As I sat here writing this blog I realised I’d forgotten to send my DS (Noah) to school in his tracksuit?  Oh help, I’ve set him up for a whole day of leisurewear related bullying.

Mental note next week to hang tracksuit pants from the front door handle on Wednesday night so I don’t forget. Cunning!

Does this sound familiar? Let me know your crap mum moments.

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(1) Reader Comment

  1. I love this post – it’s nice to hear about those not-so-super mummy moments from other mums, as I sure have many of them myself. I was quite embarrassed the other week to see me daughter coming out of school with a large sticker on her chest that read ‘I need a PE kit!’
    I also have the same problem as you with school pick up. My time-keeping is terrible. I am also dependent on buses, and the school is up a hill from the bus stop. So even on the occasions I am on time (or sometimes even early!) for the bus to school, we invariably get stuck in traffic and I end up arriving at my daughters classroom looking like a frizzy-haired beetroot.
    My other downfall is probably food. I like to think we eat quite healthily. We eat a good dinner which is most of the time cooked from scratch. However, I know that a lot of mums around here would probably not be approving of the times I have given mini-milk lolly as an after-breakfast snack, or allowed my toddler to pick up and eat the quavers she had just spread all over the floor.

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