page contents The Bikini Diairies # 5 The Final Splash | mummy rates it

With the holidays coming to an end most people start to dread returning home and unpacking but not me. No, just days before the return I begin to feel queasy about the annual humiliation (think costume-up-bum, screaming, needing counselling.. ) that is the trip to ‘The Water Park’. This year it was made just that little bit more ‘thrilling’ by doing it in a bikini…

Making a splash Michelle Hannell The Bikini Diaries
For our family a trip to a Water Park (or WP as it will now be known) is like a proverbial carrot that is dangled in front of noses about 2 weeks before due date. Bribes like: ‘If you’re really good we’ll take you to the WP’ are banded about as are threats like: ‘locking so and so in the toilet was very naughty we won’t be going to the WP if you do that again’ … and that’s just to Daddy!

So practised are we in the art of going to the WP that we have nailed preparations with military precision. They go something like this:

1. Begin with a thorough examination and elimination of stray hairs around the bikini zone. Safe in the knowledge that pubes won’t be causing the lifeguards to choke on their whistles packing, making of contraband sandwiches and march to the pick-up point may take place.

2. Whilst waiting for the coach (usually approx 20 mins late) make sure to squeeze too much sun cream out of the tube, in fact make it enough to leave four adult hands completely full. Use the excess to grease up the rest of the queue/parts that the body that will (hopefully) never see the sun and slather rest onto kids repeatedly until they become so slippery that they’re impossible to get a hold of as they dart in front of the approaching late-running coach.

3. Arrive at WP where your bags are searched and contraband sandwiches duly taken away, oh and your water too. I mean, who needs to drink silly old H2O from a bottle when you’re going to be face down in it for the whole day? Michelle Hannell at the Water Park
MORE from The Bikini Diaires

Bikini Diaries # 1
Bikini Diaries # 2
The Bikini Diairies # 3
The Bikini Diaries # 4

On arrival at the WP the kids immediately dashed off to try out the ‘tame’ rides in the kiddie pool. At Aqua Fantasy this involves a pirate ship with mini slides, a few seals/turtles/fish to sit on and an Octopus. I discovered the Octopus isn’t quite wide enough for a grown-up bum (unless you’re Size Zero) and putting said big bum into slide creates a vacuum effect. When I finally managed to dislodge myself I sped off with such force that my re-entry into the pool created a tidal wave effect. Not only that but when a grown-up skids across the pool on their bum it takes off a layer of skin – my cheeks have never been so exfoliated!

As you’re no doubt aware, the Bikini Diaries has, amongst other things, been putting the Curvy Kate Rio Ruffle bikini through its paces. Throughout the six weeks on holiday it has kept me perky and contained and has lost none of its support or fit. It has not been a lazy bikini either – oh no, it has been sailing, kayaking, climbing and cycling and has, I’m pleased to say, stood up to each test. However, short of jumping out of a plane, which is frankly ridiculous at the best of times let alone in a bikini, it still needed to survive the ultimate test – being plunged down a fast-flowing vertical slide…
Michelle Hannell The Bikini Diaries on
Well folks, the Rio did me proud! During the day at the WP I revealed neither bosom nor bottom to the fee-payers. So secure did I feel that I was able to splash, crash, scream (apparently I could be heard for miles) and holler my way around the park without a care in the world. I even (dare I say it) enjoyed myself!

Until next holidays…

Curvy Kate bikinis and lingerie are designed for D – K cup and are available online and instore.

DISCLOSURE: I received the Curvy Kate Rio Ruffle Bikini to review. This review has been written using my own words, pictures and opinions.


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(3) Readers Comments

  1. You’re talking about Wegies again, aren’t you? You look fantastic all the time and like you’re having a fantastic time too. I’ve loved this series. Roll on next year X

  2. I’d not heard of Curvy Kate bikinis until now. With mega double Fs, I may have to take a look and invest. It’s been fab following your bikini diaries. Cool Summer!

    • I must admit I hadn’t either but that’s because I never really considered myself a ‘Curvy Kate’ in the bosom department until I was properly measured! They are actually stocked in a lot of department stores. And as for Double Fs – they’ve just brought out the World’s first t-shirt bra that goes all the way up to a J cup. Brilliant result for those curvy girls. x

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